[Sometimes you wake up in the morning

to the sound of a knock on your heart's door.

The visitor is not always welcome.

Happened to me last week.]

Doubt crept in.

"God is good, BUT - - -

Is He good to ME?"

Others get what I desire.

Feel overlooked,

forgotten,

not important enough,

easy to dismiss or ignore,

alone in the midst of this wild, painful place.

"How can I sing Your praise in a heathen land?"

Hate to confess these things.

Feel awful for feeling this way - - - guilty, bad.

KNOW I am blessed and loved

but don't FEEL that way today.

Light suddenly shoved His way through the doorway, the darkness.

Rushed in like a WWE wrestler clearing the ring.

"You know me when no one is looking and life isn't working.

You see me - ALL of me - and You delight in me.

You remind me that the pain, the darkness

creates a vacuum for MORE - - -

a hunger, a thirst to live, to be alive."

Why am I not as hungry when things are "good,"

when life is right and easy and not as mysterious?

You exert no pressure.

You are no authoritarian coach yelling blasphemies from the sidelines.

Your process [RTR] is alive with mercy and grace and forgiveness.

My answers lie solely in You.

Today,

I am NOT forgotten.

He is here - Immanuel - very near - God with me.

And He is good, is goodness itself.

Yes, I am weak, but His grace isn't.

His wings overshadow me ALWAYS.

Finally, I admit the anxiety.

"Am I enough?

Do I displease or annoy as I so often do others, 

especially those I love or desire to love?

Faintly He whispers,

"YOU ARE MY DELIGHT."

To a hungry soul,

even the bitter is sweet. [Proverbs 27: 7]

Hope exists in this lonely land. [Psalm 27: 13]

I have found Life and Love in barren places.

Today, I rest in Your delight.

Helping Hands

Jesus said, " I am the vine. You are the branches." Each leaf, each piece of fruit, each limb, each vine are all part of the whole tree. Because of this connection, each is affected by the life of the other. One of the things I so loved about John Wimber was his love for the whole body of Christ. 

Here are a few current needs in the body of Christ and some suggestions for helping with these needs.

Many members of our fellowship have recently expressed concern over several situations, desiring to help in some way. Gadsden Vineyard will be helping in EACH situation listed below and is inviting you to partner with us.

• David Finlayson - I have spoken to Gina. Foremost, they need our prayers, specifically that the transplant would occur in 2018 (they have met their deductible for 2018) and that the donor testing would be completed swiftly. Please pray specifically for these requests. Furthermore, there are and will continue to be expenses before, during, and after the transplant. They are currently having to travel between three different hospitals - one in TN, one in GA, and one in AL. All of the required tasks and travels require time, energy, and money. A GoFundMe page has been established, but a percentage of the money donated at this site is kept for site maintenance. Plus, cashing out is not swiftly done. GVC offers another option. We will be receiving donations on their behalf. Donations can be dropped off in the Sunday morning offering basket, in the bookstore payment box, or in the mail drop. Place the donation in an envelope and earmark it accordingly. Donations can also be sent through the mail or through paypal (be sure to mark the donation button to prevent a percentage from being held out). As this is an ongoing long term need, GVC will be collecting donations as long as needed.
• The Barnetts - John and Marie's daughter recently died. Both of them have been a blessing to GVC, especially to our musicians and worship leaders. Please remember them in prayer. If you would like to join with us in a gift of love for them, please do so by September 1. The same donation instructions apply.
• The CA Fires - AVC has asked for prayers and donations for our Vineyard family and neighbors in CA. There are Vineyard churches in the area (all safe) who are helping in the relief efforts. Again, you may partner with us in prayer and in donating to these relief efforts. Please do so by September 1.

Thank you for your prayers and for your generosity. 

God bless!

Why Vineyard?  Part 2

"I am the vine. You are the branches."

If you look closely at the above pic, you'll see an elderly vine that is very much alive and fruitful. The leaves and the fruit are thriving and beautiful. Both the vine and the branches are doing what they were created to do TOGETHER. 

This pic depicts the church in God's kingdom. Jesus is the vine; He fulfilled the will of God. We are His branches; our duty is to stay connected to the vine (to Him) and to also fulfill the will of God. 

John 15: 4-5

Remain in Me, and I will remain in you. Just as no branch can bear fruit by itself unless it remains in the vine, neither can you bear fruit unless you remain in Me. I am the vine and you are the branches. The one who remains in Me, and I in him, will bear much fruit. For apart from Me, you can do NOTHING.

This verse is pretty much the backbone of Vineyard philosophy.

In the Vineyard movement, I found the "more" I was looking for. I found the "living" kingdom of God. I spent the first half of my life blindly living for God, but when I encountered the Vineyard movement, I met the KING and immediately fell in love with ALL that He is. From then on, I no longer served out of a sense of Biblical duty; I now serve because I love HIM. I love the King, and I love what and whom He loves. I don't know how good I am at  this, but I am trying. 

The Kingdom of God

John Wimber's life message was about the Kingdom of God. He taught it, lived it, and demonstrated it all over the world in all kinds of churches (yes, even the ones that handle snakes). He loved the King, and He loved what the King loved - the kingdom, the people of God - the church, the Bride of Christ.

 Again, it would take a book to communicate what John valued. He was notorious for repeating these values in his sermons. I remember hearing him say in one sermon after another: "I'll stop teaching on this when you get it. Okay? "

For instance, I cannot remember how many times I've heard him say the phrase "time, energy, and money." He would say something like this: Show me how you spend your time, energy, and money, and I'll show you what you truly value and love. 

He  just told things the way they were. What follows are a few of the values that really shaped me and my life.

Biblical Literacy vs. Biblical Obedience

John taught that it was not enough to know the Bible. We should seek to know the God of the Bible, to have a living, personal relationship with Him which will result in a love that freely desires to obey Him (to be fruitful). 

Throughout the first half of my life I was probably Biblically literate and was as obedient as I could be with the truth that I had. However, something was missing, the "more" I was searching for. I found that "more" in a personal, intimate relationship with God. Having that kind of relationship with God will change you. It will transform your heart and life and your values.

Worship and Service

A personal relationship with the living God will result in love - love for God and love for what He loves - those whom He has created. This being with God and loving Him precedes the doing. The being and the doing are both important, but it's difficult to do the doing without the being first occurring.

Jesus said that the greatest commandment of all was to love the Lord, our God, with all our heart, soul, mind, and strength. He didn't stop there. We are also to love our neighbor as ourselves. He said that doing these two things fulfilled the entire law of God.

John taught that worship was a choice we make to honor God with all that we are and all that we have. Music is only a small part of that. If we love God, we are to do everything as if we are doing it for Him. It's all about Him. Everything we have is a blessing from Him, and everything we do and say should bless and honor Him.

Koinonia - Kinships

John valued community. A kinship is really just a small group of people who usually meet in homes once a week or a couple of times a month. These groups provide community especially in light of all the things trying to tear us apart in this world.

John's first church actually began as a home group which grew and grew until they had to split to form two groups. This continued to happen until they were large enough to hold a weekly service usually in a rented facility at first.

Thus, the Vineyard Movement was born.

These home groups were usually comprised of three or four parts: fellowship and some sort of food, a brief teaching, worship, and a time of prayer and ministry. The majority of work accomplished in a church was done in these meetings. Things could be said and done here that couldn't be said and done easily in large a morning service. Most of the leadership in the Vineyard churches at large was identified and trained in these safe, small settings.

It has been my privilege to have been part of numerous home groups over the past 34 years, and I thank God for each of those. During those times together, I have seen God move mightily. I love the people I met in these kinships and am so thankful for them. 

FYI: The word "kin" actually means "to know." Our American Indians used the words "kin" and "love" synonymously. To love someone was to know them; to "kin" them was to love them. There is intimacy implied in the terms, the kind of intimacy shared by husband and wife. As we kinned each other, we grew to kin God more and more. It was all interconnected. 

Jesus' Mission Is Our Mission

What was Jesus' mission? The first time Jesus spoke at synagogue, He made this announcement: The Spirit of the Sovereign Lord is upon me because He has anointed me to bring Good News to the poor, to proclaim freedom for the captives. The blind will see; the oppressed will go free. (Luke 4: 18-19 / Isaiah 61: 1-2)

As believers, we are to follow in the footsteps of Jesus. He did what He saw His father doing; He said what He heard His father saying. We are to partner with Him and to follow the leading of His spirit - to do and say what we see and hear Him doing and saying.

And to quote John: "Everyone gets to play." This "doing the stuff" is not for pastors and worship leaders and elders and leadership only. It is for ALL of us. Each of us has an important part to do, and no part is small or less important than the other. Each part is vital to the health of the body and to the mission. 

One of John's most powerful sermons was on the power of Holy Spirit. He taught that the Spirit's power is for a holy purpose. It's not just an experience.

It's not to be sought to build ourselves up. It's to be used to further the Kingdom's business is some way. "We are just a coin in God's pocket to be spent as He desires."

Equipping the Saints - Ephesians 4: 11-12

I realize that many churches today have jumped on the motto "equipping to serve," but I honestly believe the Vineyard Movement was the first to express this. This phrase sort of became their motto.

Christ Himself has given gifts to the church. These gifts come in human form in the guise of apostles, prophets, evangelists, pastors, and teachers. Yes, your pastor and mine are gifts from God. So are your elders and teachers. So are your worship leaders.

Their main responsibility is to equip God's people, not their people, to do His work and help build up the church, the body of Christ. 

Why equip the people? So that we ALL can attain maturity in the Lord. In other words, so that we would GROW UP.  John loved to say, "I want to grow up before I grow old." Attaining maturity and pursuing holiness in Christ should be our goals.

Jim, Wayne, and I took this seriously.  In the beginning we bought three of everything, one for each of us. Then we would read it and have long discussions about what we had read or heard. If we couldn't purchase three, we bought the one and shared it. We would each mark the book in a specific way. (I recently found a book that had all three markings in it.) Then we began to purchase literally hundreds of  books, tapes, tracts, albums and music cassettes and gave them away or allowed people (usually students) to borrow them. We gave away Bibles. We attended meetings and conferences and took people with us. We invited people to help minister with us. We taught classes at the church and in our students' homes and churches when their leadership allowed. 

Final Thoughts

I could go on and on, but I won't. I think you get the picture. The Vineyard Movement with its teachings and songs and people have been a very important part of over half my life. I found the "more." Don't get me wrong. I'm still seeking, still trying to grow up in Him, still searching, but there is a contentment in resting in Him and knowing Him now. I still have a lot of growing yet to do. 

I don't know if I could ever share half of what I've seen and learned during these past 34 plus years. But I do have a few closing remarks.

• Being full of the Holy Spirit is not just exhibiting certain behaviors associated with being filled with the Spirit. Being full of the Holy Spirit is synonymous with mature character (another Wimber sermon). I [Debbie] firmly believe that the Holy Spirit is in the character-building business. 
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• In John's weekly leadership meeting he would ask, "How are we doing? Did we care for the poor this week? Did we pray for the sick? Did we teach the book with no strings attached?" The things John offered always were offered with no strings attached.

• I close with Wimber's thoughts on maturity in Christ. "The test of spiritual maturity is not gifts . . . It's the ability to love God and others.  It's learning to serve others by loving the unlovely, the less fortunate, the lost, the broken. This is the highest call."

Thank you for travelling down memory lane with me. I really feel like John Wimber will one day be seen as one of the biggest influences on the church today. You can even find "Isn't He," one of John's original songs, in modern church hymnals right along side the much loved Gaither songs. 

If you would like to read more about John Wimber and his teachings, Marty Boller has a wonderful book entitled The Wisdom of Wimber. You might also enjoy Everyone Gets to Play and The Way In Is the Way On both about Wimber and his teachings. I am sooooooo thankful to God for this man ("just a fat man trying to get to heaven) and his ministry to the church at large.

Why Vineyard? Part 1

If you follow my blog, you're aware of my reoccurring nostalgia lately. Even an assignment for our past two home group meetings has inundated me with memories - a brief look back at the history of Gadsden Vineyard which is now 34 young. (That's about half of my life.)

Last weekend, I woke up one morning with an old gospel song playing in my head, and I couldn't shake it. It kept replaying over and over and over again.
And . . . it's not even a favorite of mine. 

I wouldn't take nothing for my journey now

Got to make it to heaven somehow

Though the devil tempt me and try to turn me around

He's offered everything that's got a name name

All the wealth I want

And worldly fame

If I could

I still wouldn't take nothing for my journey now 

After this chorus played about a hundred times in my head, I thought, "Is God speaking to me through this song?" Well . . . Of course.

I really enjoyed sharing the adventures of the last 34 years with my home group because our history was and still is an amazing journey. This week,

I feel inspired to blog about why I chose and still choose Vineyard. Really, Vineyard chose me.

I was raised a Baptist and didn't even know that a modern translation of the Bible existed until I entered college (1971). In college, I experienced different denominations and their values and enjoyed getting to meet and to know these wonderful people from all over the world. I also began to question the values of "my" denomination in lieu of what I was encountering in these different services. 

Music had always been a huge part of my life. I began singing in church and elsewhere when I was old enough to stand on the piano stool without falling off. I traveled and sang solos, in choirs, in duets, in trios, in quartets, in stage bands. College was no exception. There I found a community of musicians who loved music as much as I did.

Contemporary worship was  in its infancy at the time, and I so loved the "God" music that sounded so much like the music I enjoyed on the radio.  Loving this new music almost felt sacrilegious because drums in the majority of churches were "of the devil." God forbid an electric guitar. (I never understood why a bass guitar was allowed when these other instruments were banned.)

I graduated college in 1974 and moved to Gadsden because I had a teaching job. That job afforded me many opportunities to once again sing, sing, sing in many different venues.

In 1976, I met Lanny, who is now my husband and who worshipped in a Lutheran church, and eventually joined him there. I was married in that church and became a part of that community and embraced ALL the differences. I even became their choir director and again, God forbid, moved a piano into the sanctuary and introduced some gospel songs into their mix. WHAT?

Okay. But where does the Vineyard stuff come in. I'm getting there. Please be patient.

Even though I had been "serious" about God almost my entire life, I REALLY got serious in the late 70s, so much so that I recorded my first album, For All Those, and began singing anywhere anyone asked me to sing. 

At the same time, the Charismatic Renewal was impacting mainline denominations. Our Lutheran pastor at the time encouraged us to check out this movement, at least to keep an open mind. (He didn't last too long after that.) A pretty good sized group of our fellowship took him up on it, and it changed our lives. It also got us booted (literally) out of the church. The disenfranchised began a new church that still exists today. 

I've shared all of the above to get to this point. All of my journey so far had left me with an ache in my heart - "There just has to be more to all of this."

Enter Jim Bentley and Wayne Findley who taught where I taught. They too were aching for the "more." Jim was like me and had been in church his whole life. Wayne, on the other hand, was a new believer. We all connected, and BOOM. Things started happening, and we started growing.

None of us realized how hungry and thirsty we were for the living God. We read scriptures and books and magazines, analyzed the things we had been taught and the things we had read, listened to cassettes and contemporary worship (nod to Keith Green), sat with our families and others talking way into the night, shared everything we learned with whoever was willing to listen (many of our students), and began praying for folks. We even encountered the powers of darkness, dare I say the demonic. For real. We were not equipped to handle that.

I met Nori Kelly somewhere in the middle of all of this, and we began working together on another album, Tears for the Harvest. He also became part of this group of "seekers."

One evening, Wayne said that he had found some interesting reading in Contemporary Christian Magazine. The article was about a course taught at Fuller Seminary in California by man named John Wimber. The course  was named MC510 - Signs and Wonders. What we read made so much sense and stirred our hearts, and Jim set out to meet John. 

Jim met John in Nashville and "adopted" Vineyard as his new home. They gave us 100 cassettes of music and teachings (we got to pick), and our lives have never been the same. In 1984, we attended the "famous" MC510 conference at Anahiem. That winter, Jim began meeting in his home. In December of '84, my responsibilities at another church ended, and I was free to come on board. We were incorporated in 1985, and folks, the rest is 

HIS-STORY.

It would take a book to tell the whole story, but I will say this. The journey has been MARVELOUS and has been filled with many peaks, valleys, and pits. Yes, we've had our share of moments (too many for my comfort) when I literally thought we were going to be ripped apart and cease to exist. However, we were determined to let God build this church, and thanks to Him it still exists today. 

And I do wish to thank my fellow travelers along the way for allowing me to be a part of their lives. It has been and I hope will continue to be an amazing journey that I treasure.

Please see Part 2 for the remainder of this blog.

  

Redemption

I don't know what has triggered my memories, but the last few weeks I've been bombarded with nostalgia. 

One morning I found myself remembering S&H Green Stamps. I once loved going to the store with my grandmother or my aunt or my mom and collecting these stamps. I was the "licker" and was given the task of putting them into the books. Oh, how the excitement built until books were filled and saved to be redeemed for something one just wouldn't buy for himself.

Another morning I found myself thinking about cola bottles. Our childhood mornings were often filled with searches for empty bottles that could be redeemed. Some bottles were worth three cents; some were worth five or more. If I found a 5-cent bottle, I felt rich.

That five cents would fill a small brown paper bag with enough sweets and bubble gum to last all afternoon and into the night.

One morning a couple of days later I remembered one of my first encounters with scratch off tickets in Trenton, GA. I believe Lanny and I spent an hour or more in the parking lot of a "quick shop" scratching tickets.  I would win something, redeem it, buy more, and scratch those tickets, and repeat the whole process.

On still another morning, I remembered going to the arcade with two little Bagley boys in Pigeon Forge. Oh, how they loooooved seeing the machines spit out those tickets. And ooooooh how long the boys stood in front of that long, glass case filled with childhood delights. Most of the time, one can only get a tiny treasure that fits easily in a pocket and is lost easily later in a car.

Funny how all of these memories are about redeeming things.

Yes, we all enjoy redeeming things. Most of the above mentioned prizes were tiny treasures.

As believers, we've hit the jackpot! Our treasure is Jesus, and He is NO TINY TREASURE.

The world today recognizes many different addictions - drugs, alcohol, sex, power/fame, foods, shopping/bargain hunting/Amazon Prime, gaming/TV/You Tube/Facebook, gambling, and on and on and on.

Each of these is a symptom of the main addiction - what I call THE SILENT ADDICTION, an addiction people just don't talk about much -

being addicted to ignoring or refusing God's will for our lives.

This "silent" addiction is a story as old as mankind and goes back to the days of Adam and Eve who were given specific instructions as to how to live in the Garden. They chose the silent addiction and did their own thing, and ever since, mankind's innate nature has been to disobey, to ignore, or to downright refuse God's will. We are made of the same stuff.

The result of this addiction was separation from Father God, a broken relationship with our Creator. Before Jesus was born into this world, God did everything He could to remedy this problem. He tried to bridge this gap and restore the relationship. The whole Old Testament story reveals His efforts and mankind's failures.

Ultimately, only the death of Jesus would remedy the problem and offer us a second chance to live as we were created to live, as sons and daughters of God, THE King of the Universe.

Jesus's story is one of redemption - a buying back something that was once a possession, an exchange of one thing for another. His life and death on the cross provided for us a divine swap, an amazing and mysterious and glorious exchange.

When we believe in God and turn our unmanageable lives over to Him including all our sins and guilt and shame and failures, He mercifully in return gives us His goodness, His righteousness, His life and all that comes along with that. We are forgiven and set free to live as a new creature with a new nature and a new heart. By faith, Jesus' life in us makes up for our weaknesses in both character and strength.

The Just (Jesus) died for the unjust. The Sinless One (Jesus) became our sin so that we could free of sin and all its consequences.

Jesus died to bring us safely home to God.

As believers, we have not just been redeemed FROM something; we have been redeemed TO something.

• From a broken relationship with Father God to an intimate personal relationship and life with God
• From the power of sin, death, and hell to an abundant life both here and eternally
• From a life with no hope or purpose and that makes no sense to a hope that ALL of this - life both good and bad - has meaning and purpose because our life is hidden in Christ Jesus who has all our days in His hands

Our old life is gone, divinely exchanged for a brand new life in Jesus.

Our story, our life becomes His.

His story, His life becomes ours.

Together our stories are the greatest story ever told, a story of salvation and love and mercy and hope and forgiveness and REDEMPTION!

His blood shed on Calvary REDEEMED me . . . and you. We are adopted into the family of God.

Isaiah 54:4-6

Fear not; you will no longer live in shame. Don't be afraid; there is no more disgrace for you. You will no longer remember the shame of your youth and the sorrow of widowhood. For your Creator will be your husband; the Lord of Heaven's Armies is His name. He is your redeemer, the Holy One of Israel, the God of all the earth. For the Lord has called you back from your grief.

We are ALL broken.

Each of us comes to God with a past.

We give Him all of us, and He gives us all of Himself.

We bring . . . our life, our losses, our shame, every disgrace, every tear, every word we wish we hadn't spoken, all the broken promises, all the lies and the loneliness and the judgments of others and the dead dreams and the dashed hopes and the broken relationships, all the emptiness, our successes and failures, our yesterdays and todays and tomorrows, our scars and wounds . . .

He gives . . . salvation, hope, new life, new dreams, love, acceptance, forgiveness, purpose, friendship, family, peace and joy in Him, and sooooooooo much more.

He is our redeemer, the one who restores our life.

He is the Lord of our past, present, and future.

He fills our emptiness with all of His fullness.

He shows us how to live in a manner worthy of His love.

He also leaves us with a task . . . Step 12 . . . Having had a spiritual awakening, WE CARRY THIS MESSAGE (our story) TO OTHERS.

As believers, we now have a story to tell, a valuable story.

FORGET about being shy and feeling awkward about speaking.

REALIZE the lie that says that what we have to share is trivial.

DENY the embarrassment and shame of the past.

Our story is now His story, and His story can help others trapped in the same places we were.

So, GO AND TELL.

Your story, my story, His story have become one and is part of the greatest story ever told.

Jesus is NO TINY TREASURE to hide in our pocket or to misplace in a car somewhere.