Don't know what's been going on . . .

Have been teary waaay too much here lately . . .

Missing everyone . . . 

Blue . . . 

Longing for . . .

MORE . . .

For HOME . . .

Not for just my earthly family, friends . . .

But for something more.

My heart has definitely not been on earth here lately. 

Don't feel at home here anymore.

Don't know if I've ever felt at home here.

Have always felt strange . . . a stranger . . .

Keep hearing Larry Norman and Keith Green . . .

"This earth is not my home.  I'm just passing through."

Beginning to wonder about my state of mind . . .

Finally found a little comfort . . .

Tripped over 2 Timothy 4: 8 . . .

"The prize awaits me - a crown of righteousness, which the Lord, the righteous Judge, will give me on the day of His return.  This prize is not just for me but for all who EAGERLY look forward to His appearing."

Now I feel convicted.

Just how much time do I eagerly look forward to His return?

Just how much time do I eagerly await His presence in my everyday life?

Not as much as I should . . .

Not as much as I would like . . .

We do make time for the things and people we truly love.

Then I trip over A. W. Tozer . . .

"I am praying that a jubilant pining and longing for God might come back on evangelical churches everywhere."

Jubilant . . . overjoyed, joyful, exuberant, thrilled, ecstatic, enraptured . . .

Pining . . . suffering a mental and physical decline because of a broken heart, waste away longing for, yearn deeply and painfully for something or someone . . .

Am I jubilant over His return?

Do I pine for His presence?

Do I know anyone who is jubilant and who is pining for Jesus?

Home IS where the heart is.

As believers, God should be our home.

His heart, His presence should be our home.

We should live in this place.

But . . . the world . . . Need I say more?

Nope, but I will.

I believe God longs, pines for us. 

I believe He longs for our presence. 

I believe He longs for us to think about Him and to spend time with Him.

I believe His heart hurts when we don't.

I believe He desires for us to be homesick every day.

I believe this homesickness wounds our heart and causes us to keep always moving upward and onward. It keeps us seeking and finding.

Ultimately, this homesickness changes us, transforms us.  

It causes this world to shrink in importance.

It encourages us to seek holiness instead of happiness.

Which leads to 1 John 3: 1-3 . . . 

"We are God's children,  but He has not yet shown us what we will be like when Christ appears.  But we do know that we will be like Him, for we will see Him as He really is, and all who have this EAGER expectation [who have this hope] will keep themselves pure, just as He is pure."

Romans 13: 11+ says that there is an urgency in the air, that time is running out.  I feel the urgency.  I'm 65 and have already had one near-death experience.  I am familiar with the "I'm almost out of time" mentality.  This passage adjures us to wake up.  Our salvation is nearer than ever before.  The night is almost gone.  Day is at hand.  We must arise and turn our eyes and heart toward Jesus.

This passage also tells us how we are to live in light of His coming.

• remove the dark, secret deeds as if they are dirty clothing
• put on the shiny armor of right living
• live decent lives for all to see because we belong to the Light (We are people of the Light not people of the lie.)
• avoid participating in the activities of the darkness
• dress in the presence of Christ Jesus
• don't think about ways to indulge our desires but deny ourselves and follow Him 

Romans 14: 17-18 says that the Kingdom of God is a matter of living a life of goodness and peace and joy in the Holy Spirit.  It further says that If we serve Christ with this attitude, WE WILL PLEASE GOD.  [Do justly, love mercy, walk humbly with God.]

As we do these things, the earth will become less and less valuable and heaven [God]will seem closer than ever.

John Wimber once said, "I want to grow up before I grow old."  Well, I'm old, and I'm trying to grow up.  I don't want to be an irresponsible, childish believer who is more concerned with being happy than with being holy, being all God desires and created me to be.

So today I pray a dangerous prayer, one that A. W. Tozer prayed a long time ago.

O God, wound me with a sense of my own sinfulness.

Wound me with compassion for the world.

Wound me with passion and love for You.

Wound me with the desire to keep pursuing all You have for me.

Wound me with the curiosity to be always exploring, seeking, and finding.

Wound me, O God.

Wound me.