For the past year, I have consistently been drawn to John 13 - 17 particularly

John 17: 21 -  " . . . that they will be one just as you and I are one - as you are in me, Father, and I am in you."

This article is NOT another plea for unity in the church.  It's about relationship and life and all the messy areas that come with living.

The last fifteen years of my life have been filled with "messy" life events, more than I bargained for, from a cancer diagnosis in 2002 to a near-death moment in 2015.  Even beyond 2015, life has held major challenges for me and my family. 

Through all the mess, God has been faithful and loving and good, and He has seasoned all the messes with great grace and mercy and healing.  I have truly been blessed. 

My heart has been able to sing amidst the rocks in the stream  - most of the time, and I've been able to place my broken pieces into His hands.  (You do know that it's the rocks in the stream that create the beautiful bubbling, musical sounds we hear and love.  No rocks, no music.)

Back to John.  These chapters contain Jesus' prayers for His friends which includes us.  These are His desires for us.  His desires were God's desires because they were one.

I firmly believe that ALL that comes our way is to bring us into oneness with our 

Father - that He would be in us and we would be in Him.  Our journey is a journey toward oneness with God.

This journey in not an emotional journey, not what we "feel."  It's a character journey all about who we are and aren't, who God is, and who we are to be.

I have found that as long as I am focused on myself and my experiences whether good or bad and focused on analyzing myself and my experiences, then my face is turned away from Him and my journey pauses.  I'm tired of hitting the pause button or getting stuck in the buffering zone.

I don't know what 2018 holds for me and my family.  However, I DO know that however great our needs and difficulties may be this year, there is an ENDLESS supply of love and grace and strength that is immeasurably more than I can even ask for or imagine.  

"JUST BECAUSE HE IS, JUST BECAUSE WE ARE HIS, ALL MUST GO RIGHT FOR US" even when it goes so very, very wrong. [Hannah W. Smith]  God's children know that God is enough.  He's enough for today.  He's enough for tomorrow.  He's enough for eternity.  

GOD loves me.

God LOVES me.

God loves ME.

Psalm 139: 17 says, "How precious are your thoughts about me, O God.  They cannot be numbered!"  For years I would read or quote this verse down to the thoughts part totally missing the emphasis of the verse.  Of course, His thoughts are precious, but this verse says how precious are His thoughts about me . . . about you.  THEY CANNOT BE NUMBERED.  Wow.  A - mazing.

Today, Father, 

I say, "YES!"

Yes to Your life lived in me,

to Your mind,

to Your interests, 

to Your riches,

to Your joys,

to Your sorrows,

to Your rest,

to Your character.

Yes to showing others Your likeness,

to walking, talking, thinking, feeling, and acting as You did and do.

Yes to all Your prayers for me, for us,

to oneness with You.

Yes to living by faith and not by feelings.

Yes to being

and contentment,

to Your being enough.

Yes, Father,

more of You,

more of Your love,

more of Your life,

more of Your legacy.

 

  

Someone asked me recently if I knew what her name meant. I didn't, but I found out. Guess what? Her name's meaning described her character perfectly. Was I surprised? No. Why? Our God who just happens to be THE Creator of the universe is awesome. He IS sovereign. His will WILL be done. Period!

This someone just happened to have had parents who were anything but saints. In fact, they were just downright heathens. Yet, they named their daughter what they did, and that name revealed the will of God for this person. She has become her name. Her name was and is her destiny. Coincidence? No way. More like the sovereignty of God.

After sixty some odd years of living, I've seen this happen over and over and over again. It is almost like He whispers into the ears of unsuspecting parents the names of their children, and then they unknowingly cooperate with Him and name their children with His choices. His hands are always at work.

So, at our naming and even before, God begins to write a new, amazingly beautiful story entitled our name. We become His gift to the world even before we know Him.

All of us begin as little lost sheep, and then He like the good Shepherd that He is sets out to rescue each of us. Some of us want to be rescued; unfortunately, some of us don't. However, that does not stop Him from trying. We can run, kick, hide, and scream, yet He is ever present trying to rescue us and draw us unto Himself. Once rescued, He begins the process of polishing His treasure - us. He declares that we will sparkle in His hands like a jewel in a crown. (Zachariah 9:16)

So today, I declare that YOU ARE AMAZING! We are all amazing because He is amazing, and He loves us with an amazing, unfailing, everlasting love. 

Yes, you may not see Him or feel Him, but that does not mean that He isn't there working and loving. One of my favorite writers, Amy Carmichael, says that some people look at something for a second and see nothing and then walk away.  Others

glance for a couple of seconds, see something, say something like "Amazing!" or "Wow!" or "How Beautiful!" but then are attracted by other things and also walk away. They saw a little more than the first people, but not much.

It is only as we look and look and look and look and look . . . that we REALLY see. The more we look for Him and at Him, the more we will see and the more we will love Him and the more we will experience His goodness and His beauty in this land.

Be encouraged! He is there and He loves you with an amazing love.

May you seek Him every day,

believe everything He says,

trust Him always,

hear His whispers and obey,

and love everyone He sends your  way.

Keep looking.

Keep loving.

Keep seeking.

Believe it all.

You are amazing, and your story is amazing all because He is amazing and loves you with His amazing love.

Pieces of me feel cold, wordless, lonely.

People are often difficult and misunderstand.

They hear but do not listen,

observe but remain blind,

are here but are not present.

Today moves them -

no thought of the future, of the pain they cause.

Dreams and goals lie in a heap of rubble

discarded because life happened -

yesterday's ideas no longer fresh, no longer viable.

Old hurts re-wound over and over.

So many scars.

Betrayal, jealousy, unkind judgments/words

not to mention physical pain and loss.

Scars can hurt, you know?

Silence is all that is left.

You, O God, take my silence and make it into song.

Your presence, Your light melt my icy heart.

Your love drives away the loneliness.

By day, Your love, Your light.

By night, Your song, Your peace.

Through it all, the joy of Your presence.

I move but one little lit step at a time.

I pledge no steps beyond what I know, what I can see.

When the negative invades my space,

I must pause and look up.

Pause and praise.

Survival demands this.

Oh, for a heart trained to look up in the midst of it all.

My God, with His lovingkindness, WILL MEET ME.

Never lost, never forgotten.

His goodness in this land.

The above picture is entitled Accusing Man - Inner Self. I chose this image because it is my disclaimer (as if I needed one) for this post.

I am in no way pointing my finger in this post at anyone other than myself, but if the shoe fits, you know the drill.

I am just as broken and messed up as everyone else in this old world. In fact, most days I feel like I am the perfect "Romans" individual; I do what I don't want to do and don't do what I do want to do.

So please don't think that I am pointing my finger at "you." That finger is pointed at me.

During Lent, many individuals give up a certain thing/things as a way to honor Christ, to prove their devotion to Him and to others, to thank Him for His blood, sweat, tears, and love. Upon coming out of Lent, most of these individuals resume those practices immediately.

Someone asked my husband recently to guess what he had given up for Lent. "Beer." Bingo! What was the first thing he was going to do after Lent? Guess!

I stopped giving up things during Lent at about the same time I stopped making New Year's resolutions. After sooooo many years of trying to do these things, they no longer seemed "true" (for me). Why? EVERY DAY OF OUR LIVES SHOULD BE LENT.

Rest assured, I don't live every day as if it is Lent, unfortunately. Also be assured that I am in no way pointing an accusing, judgmental finger at anyone. I am simply sharing what has been on my heart lately.

No one serving as a soldier entangles himself in civilian affairs -

he wants to please his commanding officer . . .

Reflect on what I am saying, for the Lord will give you insight.

2 Timothy 2: 4,6

I have been rereading some really old Amy Carmichael stuff lately, and you guessed it. What I have read has been convicting. In other words, I've been reflecting and repenting. Remember, to repent means to turn around and go in the opposite direction, to change.

God calls us His emissaries. (a person sent on a special mission, usually a diplomatic representative) As His emissaries in this world, we are to be DISENTANGLED.

• called to be a Nazarite - separated unto Him
• called to be a Priest - crowned with His glory and light, His purpose, His power and authority
• called to be a Soldier - engaged in a great campaign, a war (paraphrasing Amy)

We cannot afford to be caught on the hooks of the "little affairs" of this life.

So many different lures are dangled in front of us daily. People expect a lot from us.

Family, friends, community, work, and even we ourselves require much from us. The simple and not-so-simple day-in-day-out duties of each day require a lot from us. In the midst of all of these activities, where is the time to nurture a loving, living, personal daily relationship with the living God of the universe?

Plus, don't we need some down time, some play time, some recreation? I won't list the recreation possibilities for fear of creating enemies, and yes, I do realize that recreation is vital, but maybe we've lost sight of what "day of rest" really means. Are we doing activities that will "re-create" us, make us new again?

Recreation (re-creation) - a pastime that will re-equip us

for future work and not cause a leakage of spiritual power

- Amy Carmichael

Some pastimes can take hold of us. Too much of anything, even a good and harmless thing, is not good for us and unfortunately wastes time.

After the events of my past 15+ years, I am so aware and upset about wasting my time. We've been given only so much time, and none of us know exactly how much we have.

The essence of the Nazarite vow was to abstain from things that, in themselves, were lawful and permissible like having an occasional haircut. Even raisins were a no-no for a Nazarite.

Should not we as God's emissaries "treat the world (not just its corruptions, but its legitimate joys, its privileges and blessings also) as a thing to be touched at a distance." (Ouch, Amy!) Being caught by the world's spirit could cause us to lose our awareness of God's presence with us. "If we feed upon the world's spirit, if it gives us our nourishment, we risk missing out on the heavenly bread sent to feed our souls."

God doesn't forbid these things. He isn't cruel and harsh, isn't a dictator in these matters. It's simply a matter of how much we love Him.

If we love someone, that someone is the most important thing to us. Love isn't just an emotion, a feeling. Love is also action. If we love people, we do things for them, just for them. We make time to spend time with just them. Believe me. I know. My husband has to be the most loving man of all in light of how he has served me over the past 15+ years of one health crisis after another. You wouldn't believe some of the things he has done for me and helped me do for myself.

Should not we, who say that we love Him, set our affections/desires on heavenly things? Should not we voluntarily and gladly (with joy) lay aside the things that charm the world so that "we may be charmed and ravished with the things of heaven." (AC)  

May we ever be wholly devoted to our Lover who died to save us, who gave us His all.

May we ever look upon the world and all its charms with wisdom realizing that there are snares and traps and distractions set to capture our hearts and keep us from our mission and to waste our precious time.

May we ever live as if the world is not our real home.

May we ever move and have our being in a higher kingdom, in reality, ignoring the "mirages" of this world.

May we find our fountains, our satisfaction in Him.

Pray that my remaining years however many or few they may be will be lived in this way.

Rescue Me

I do not understand

for I do what I don't want to do.

What I really want,

I can't find the power to do.

I desire what is good,

but I can't seem to carry it out.

I'm so frustrated,

such a slave to doubt.

Rescue me.

Clean my house.

Let not sin reign in me, Lord.

Wash me now

in Your blood.

Let not sin find a home in me.

Come and rescue me.

The choice is ours now -

righteousness or sin -

slaves to selfishness

or driven by obedience.

Will we choose death,

or will we choose life?

Will we walk in great darkness

or live in His light?

Rescue me.

Clean my house.

Let not sin reign in me, Lord.

Wash me now

in Your blood.

Let not sin find a home in me.

Come and rescue me.

Gotta lotta livin' -

wanna live it for You.

Stuck

in the middle

of my dreams

and what actually is -

Reality resides here.

The one true Reality - God -

put me here.

I am where I am.

He is who He is.

This is my destiny,

where I belong.

Though earth is not my home,

I must make it so for a time.

I belong to two worlds -

two sets of needs, duties, joys

hopefully entwined

in THE One who created and sustains it all.

May I receive it ALL

humbly, thankfully,

with a "quiet" heart

like Mary's

who so long ago

responded to Mystery

with,

"Behold, the handmaiden of the Lord.

Spend me as You wish."

Anything?

Yes, Lord -

anything,

anywhere.

John Wimber once said that we were like coins in God's pockets and

that He could spend us as He wished.

May we all learn how to be content with how we are spent.

What Was / What Is To Be

The gulf between

what was and what is to be

is marked by passages

with narrow bridges between

addiction - freedom,

fear - peace,

brokenness - healing,

isolation - intimacy,

despair - hope,

guilt - forgiveness,

mourning - joy,

uselessness - purpose.

Bridges, when crossed,

that bring new life,

new ways of thinking,

a new place to abide.

Must step forward -

no looking back.

Must forsake what was -

embrace the new path.

No more excuses.

No more lies.

No more denial.

Eyes on the prize.

Patiently allowing

God's love to make me whole

and fill me with His light

deep within my soul.

To know Him, to love Him,

to walk with Him always.

Now is the time.

Today is the day.